


heaven help a fool who falls in love

by likebrightness



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Maggie POV, POV Maggie Sawyer, and what happens to maggie in 2.08, what happens between 2.07 and 2.08
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-08 01:30:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8824789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/likebrightness/pseuds/likebrightness
Summary: She is Alex’s friend. They play pool and she calls Alex in on cases and they are friends.





	

 

Maggie doesn’t usually watch the clock at work. She works until she finishes the job, or until she’s too tired or hungry to keep going, and then she’ll go home. She’s never been the type to be out the door as soon as the clock hits five.

Tonight, she’s at the bar by 5:10, and she only speeds a little to get there. Alex hadn’t been clear on the time for pool, and, well, Maggie just thought it’d be best if she was ready whenever.

She gets water. Pretends her hand doesn’t shake when she lifts the glass to her mouth.

-

At six, she orders nachos and a beer.

“No girlfriend today?” Darla asks.

“No girlfriend,” Maggie says. “Ever.”

Her ex rolls her eyes.

“She’s not,” Maggie says again. “She’s my friend.”

“Last time I saw you in here together you were kissing.”

“She’s my friend,” Maggie says again.

She hopes Alex thinks so, too.

-

Alex texts at seven.

_Hey, still up for pool?_

Maggie smiles at her phone. _Yeah_ , she sends.

_See you at the bar_

-

Alex arrives and spots her right away, comes over to her booth.

“Hey.”

“Danvers,” Maggie smiles.

Alex gives her a little smile, and Maggie’s world lights up at the edges. “Sawyer.” Alex looks at the table. “Oh, sorry, have you been here a while? Did I keep you waiting?”

Maggie probably should have gotten her empty dishes cleared before Alex showed up.

“No, it’s fine, I just didn’t feel like cooking tonight, so.” Maggie shrugs. “Do you want to get anything? You hungry or…?”

“I’m good,” Alex says. “I ate with Kara earlier.”

“Yeah? How is she? I, uh, got the feeling she isn’t my biggest fan.”

Alex laughs. “I’ve spent my whole life since my family adopted her protecting her. I think she’s kind of thrilled at the thought of protecting me.”

“She doesn’t have to— you know I don’t want to hurt you, Alex? Not ever.”

Alex sort of half shrugs, and Maggie knows she has, she has hurt her, and she hates it.

“Anyway,” Alex says. “Ready to lose at pool?”

“I’m going to beat you one day, Danvers.”

“Yeah, today is not that day.”

-

Today is not that day.

She loses to Alex, three times. Goes through a couple of beers while she’s at it, enough that she feels looser, doesn’t feel like Alex is going to disappear at any moment.

Alex is looser, too, smiles more. Maggie feels like they’re friends, feels like they’re okay, except for how Alex always makes sure she stays just out of reach. It’s not like Maggie would even touch her— Maggie’s not touchy, and she certainly wouldn’t be with a girl she just turned down— but Alex steps back every time Maggie has to round the pool table for a shot. Maggie pretends not to notice.

They give up their table eventually, end up on opposite sides of Maggie’s booth, just talking. Darla delivers them both another beer, disdain dripping from her entire self.

“How did you used to date her?” Alex asks when she’s out of earshot.

Maggie shrugs. “She was nicer then. All of my exes seem nice before they become my exes.”

“So, what— they date you and then they go crazy?”

Maggie laughs. “I don’t know, Danvers. They probably think I’m nice before they date me, too.”

That hits a little too close to home, a little too close to why she turned Alex down, the real reason, not the reason she gave Alex.

Because the thing is— she’s protecting herself, not Alex.

Everything _is_ shiny for Alex right now, she wasn’t making that up. Everything is shiny and new and what happens when that shine wears off? What happens when she realizes Maggie isn't shiny? She's dirty and dented and probably everything her ex said, too. She doesn't know.

She just knows she's not shiny.

Alex, though— Alex is shiny. Alex’s smile could power the entire Pacific coast. Maggie isn't new to this. Maggie has been around the block. Alex is the best damn woman she's ever seen.

Maggie swallows some of her beer and changes the subject.

-

The next day the desk sergeant calls Maggie to say she has a visitor. She figures it’s an informant, though none of them have ever shown up at the precinct before.

It is not an informant. It is Kara Danvers.

Maggie’s pulse jumps. “Did something happen to Alex?” she says instead of hello.

“What?” Kara says. “No. I just— I wanted to talk to you. If you have a minute.”

“Yeah, sure,” Maggie says. She tries to act like her adrenaline didn’t just spike at the thought of Alex in trouble. “There’s a coffee shop down the block if you want?”

“Sure.”

Kara is silent on the walk to the cafe, her hands in her pockets. Maggie lets her be. She’s still recovering from the thought of Alex taking a bullet or a who-knows-what from some rogue alien. As though her sister would be calmly coming to the precinct to let her know if that happened. Maggie’s always had a bit of an imagination.

They order coffee and Kara leads her to a table in the corner. She sets her coffee aside and looks at Maggie.

“I don’t want you to lead my sister on.”

Apparently they’re getting right down to it.

“I’m not,” Maggie says. “I want to be her friend.”

Kara nods. “She said that. I want to make sure that’s what you want, that it’s all you want, and that you’re clear about that to Alex.”

Maggie blows on her coffee. She takes a sip of it.

“I don’t think Alex needs you fighting her battles for her,” she says, because it’s easier than saying she doesn’t want to be with Alex. Alex thinks that, and she lets her, but she’s never said it. She’s said _I like you, Alex._ When Alex said she was in pain because Maggie didn’t want her, Maggie tried to say that wasn’t true. She’s been honest, really, hasn’t ever said she doesn’t want Alex.

“You’re right, and she’d kill me if she knew I was here,” Kara says. “But she— she cares so much, about other people, and so sometimes she forgets to take care of herself. She doesn’t need me to talk to you about this, but if there’s any chance it makes it less likely that she ends up hurt— I’m doing it.”

“I’m going to be her friend, Kara,” Maggie says. Because she is. She’s going to be her friend, and when Alex meets more people, when Alex starts dating, Alex will realize Maggie isn’t that special, and Maggie won’t be able to hurt her anymore. Kara doesn’t need to worry.

“Okay,” Kara says. “Good. She could use more friends.”

They drink the rest of their coffee in silence.

-

She is Alex’s friend. They play pool and she calls Alex in on cases and they are friends.

Maggie understands why Kara worried, though, because sometimes she catches herself. She catches herself looking at Alex like Alex put the stars in the sky. She can feel it on her face. Sometimes she can’t believe Alex fell for the whole _let’s be friends_ thing, because Maggie _knows_ she is too soft with Alex. She can’t stop herself. It’d be so much easier if she was better at putting up walls. Except— no, she’s _good_ at putting up walls. She always has been. It’s just that with Alex it’s somehow impossible.

She can’t put up walls, maybe, but at least she doesn’t let her imagination take hold. She doesn’t let herself believe Alex’s feelings could stick around. She _can’t_. Because Alex could ruin her. And she might be dirty and dented but she’s not ready for that, she can’t handle that. She can’t handle not having Alex in her life. And she wouldn’t. If they dated, Alex would figure it out, realize she’s not worth all of the hopes and dreams and feelings Alex is pinning on her.

Alex _came out_ for her. Alex called her amazing, but she’s _wrong_. Alex doesn’t even know her.

-

Maggie would like to go home for Thanksgiving, but she’s going for Christmas this year, so Thanksgiving is spent in National City. She thinks about cooking a turkey for herself, but she can’t find one small enough. So instead of having enough turkey for a week, she gets takeout. They look at her sympathetically when she picks it up.

She turns on the national dog show and picks at her pad thai. She thinks about texting Alex, reads through some of their old messages. Her mom’s in town, Maggie knows. Because they tell each other stuff like that, because they’re friends. She doesn’t need to interrupt her friend’s Thanksgiving.

The dog show goes to commercial, and Maggie flips to football. She doesn’t really care, but it feels un-American not to watch.

Her phone buzzes on the table. She sets her food down and reaches for it.

A text from Alex: _Thankful you busted in on my crime scene, Sawyer_

Maggie really wishes a text that simple didn't make her heart jump in her chest. She thinks about sassing Alex, something about jurisdiction, but she can't muster it.

 _Me too_ , is all she sends. It doesn't feel like enough.

_How’s your Thanksgiving?_

Better now, she thinks. She sends: _Really rooting for the Weimaraner in the dog show_

_Wait do you not have plans?_

_Sure I do, Danvers. Plans to eat the rest of this takeout and watch this Weimaraner take best in show_

_I’m setting an extra place at the table. We’re eating in an hour. You should come._

Alex is too much. Maggie wonders if she does this with all of her friends— this complete acceptance, not just full-throated but backed up with action, like inviting you to Thanksgiving dinner with her family just so you don’t have to be alone.

_I’m not crashing your Thanksgiving with your family, Alex_

_Please. Kara has three fuckboys here. I should at least get to have you_

Maggie tries not to read into that wording too much. Just because she’d like Alex to _have_ her like that doesn’t mean that’s how Alex meant it. Another text comes in before Maggie has to worry about how to respond.

_I mean, they’re not all fuckboys but also they kind of are_

Maggie chuckles. _Are you drunk?_

 _You’re asking if I’m drunk at a family event?_ Alex texts, then immediately sends another. _Of course I am. I mean, not drunk drunk, just like. Thanksgiving drunk._

_Thanksgiving drunk._

_It’s a thing._ Alex sends another text: _And don’t change the subject. I’m setting your place at the table right now. We’re at Kara’s._

Maggie switches back to the dog show. She’s not going to Kara’s.

-

Maggie goes to Kara’s. She goes to Kara’s and she paces in the hallway. Fifty minutes ago Alex said they were eating in an hour. Maggie’s not even hungry. Her phone buzzes.

_You coming?_

Maggie sighs.

_Sorry Danvers. Hope the fuckboys aren't too much trouble._

Maggie goes home.

-

When Darla’s name appears on her phone, Maggie almost doesn’t pick up. After, she wishes she hadn’t. She wishes she didn’t know, wishes she could pretend it didn’t happen. Twenty-three dead. Maggie didn’t know all of them, but she knew enough.

She drinks, and she cries, and when Alex calls, she picks up without saying hello.

“Maggie,” Alex says. Her voice is so gentle.

“I know,” Maggie says. “I heard.”

“I’m _so sorry_.”

Maggie sniffs. There’s nothing to say. Nothing is going to fix this. Even ending Cadmus won’t bring any of them back. It’s not okay, and it’s never going to be.

Alex doesn’t tell her it will. She doesn’t tell her anything else. She just stays on the phone.

Maggie falls asleep listening to Alex breathe over the line.

-

The next time Alex calls, about L-Corp, Maggie isn’t on duty. She goes anyway, calls the precinct on the way. She arrives at the same time as the squads, straps on a vest and heads in.

When she goes down, Supergirl runs to her. Runs to her and says _Maggie_ , and that makes _no sense_ , but she’s also just been shot by a meta-human that looks like Hank Henshaw; not much is making sense right now.

They take her to the DEO, and on the way there, an EMT— or, whatever the DEO’s version of an EMT would be— cuts off Maggie’s shirt to get to her wound.

“What the hell?” Maggie says, tries to sit up. The EMT pushes her back down, much more easily than Maggie would like. “I liked that shirt.”

He cuts off her bra next, and that is just too fucking much. She’s still yelling at him about it when they arrive at the DEO. When they wheel her inside, she stops shouting, because Alex is there. Alex is there, her face stark white, and Maggie can see the breath shudder out of her.

“I can take it from here,” Alex says, even though her voice shakes.

“Danvers, you can’t just let that guy leave,” Maggie says. “He cut off my favorite shirt, _and_ my bra. That was expensive and he just cut it right off.”

It looks like Alex tries to smile, but it’s tight lipped and more of a grimace. Maggie’s entire right side hurts, but she just wants Alex to stop looking so stricken.

“Hey, Alex, I’m okay.”

“Of course you are, now that I’m in charge of you,” Alex says, and her smile is now more like a baring of her teeth.

Alex stitches her up while Maggie keeps trying to make her laugh. Stiffness slowly drains out of Alex with every joke. Maggie wants to kiss her.

-

This isn’t the first time Maggie’s been shot. It’s not the worst, either, not by far. She’s already home, didn’t have to stay at the DEO any longer than it took to get stitches. She was protected by her vest, and she got treatment immediately. But it still feels like a wake up call.

Maybe it isn’t that she was shot, so much at it’s Alex’s face. She can’t stop thinking about it— her face when Maggie was first wheeled into the DEO, her face as she focused on Maggie’s wound, her face as she said thank you, as she explained how she understood herself better now.  

Maggie wanted to kiss her. Maggie has wanted to kiss her for too long. Maggie got shot today, and twenty-three aliens died at her favorite bar earlier this week, and Maggie wants to kiss Alex. She’s done protecting herself.

Maybe Alex will get to know her and realize she’s not worth it. Maybe Alex will break her, will ruin her. Maybe it’ll be worth it.

She calls in a pizza order and picks up a six pack on the way.

-


End file.
